Hey, everyone, I'm happy to introduce you to Samantha, the first Chopped Liver reader to write to me who will become a live donor at the same transplant center as me! In October, she and her dad will walk the same halls of Northwestern Memorial Hospital that Joe and I did, hop into the same ugly backless gowns and onto the same gurneys, maybe even get wheeled into the same lucky adjoining rooms, to undergo the same surgery Joe and I did exactly nine months previously. I'm sure they'll even have the same surgeons we did. (Samantha and I haven't dished yet about whether she's as smitten with the handsome Dr. K. as I am.)Samantha's dad has cirrhosis caused by years of taking antibiotics to combat colitis. Live transplant is, at this point, his only option. With a few weeks yet to wait, if she's anything like me, Samantha could use some entertaining diversions to keep her mind off of the slowly moving turning of the earth, so if you've got a good joke or fun link (keep it clean, now -- Chopped Liver is a family site!) leave it in comments for her. (Don't forget, they won't show up until I approve them, due to comment spammers.)I'll start:
Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
10. Hey, if that's his spleen, then what's this I'm holding?
9. Could someone stop that red thing from beating? It's throwing off my concentration.
8. No one move... I think I just lost a contact lens.
7. Wait, this isn't a sex change operation?
6. Nurse, hand me that, um, uh, thingie.
5. Don't worry. I saw Dr. Kovach do this same operation on ER last week so I know how exactly how to do it.
4. And, that's the last stitch... hey, wait, where's my scalpel?
3. Someone call the janitor. We're going to need a mop.
2. "Accept this sacrifice, o Great Lord of Darkness!"
1. Nurse, more anesthesia please -- ahem, not for the patient, for me!Welcome Samantha, and good luck these next few weeks to you and your dad. Say hi to Lori and the gang for me.